*Note on reading for video monologue’s, while recording don’t speak the ‘Stage Directions’ notated below in Yellow

Please keep your full length monologue submissions for “Man vs Musk” to under 15 minutes recorded in length.

Man vs Musk

written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp 

Lights up on Jordan Skopp, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans with casual loafers.

Hey Everybody! How’s it going? Thanks for coming. Welcome to “Man Versus Musk” A show. A comedy. A call to action. A political movement.

My name is Jordan Skopp. Realtor. Wannabe Dogooder. Life-long New Yorker from Brooklyn. Yeah, Brooklyn. All right. Go Mets! Even though they’re from Queens. Whateva…

I’ve decided to dedicate this portion of my life to saving lives from “Distracted Driving.” Not bad, right? I mean it could be worse. I could just be another well off jerk who doesn’t do anything for anybody, right?

In spite of the crazy and chaotic times we are living in I believe that each one of us has the capacity to change the world for the better. That’s right -- One person – with the help of others can change the world. Ordinary people like you and me.

Some of you may already be making the world a better place in many different ways. I commend you and I want to join forces with you to take on all the brands of distraction.  

So what am I doing here? Is this some kind of filibuster? No. I am not a Lobbyist. I am just making a personal appeal as a fellow human being. The writing is on the wall with regards to Distracted Driving. It’s along side us on the roads. On the tv and the radio. I mean it’s there. How can we not feel and absorb what is happening?

Some people ask me “Jordan. Of all the issues in the world that you can get involved in why did you choose Distracted Driving? Why is this your concern? What’s your origin story? Do you have a friend or loved one who was a victim of Distracted Driving? The simple answer is “No, I do not.” I have no tragic origin story. This is just one of my several areas of interest. I hope that’s okay? My quest is not fueled by personal grief. And why should it be? Should we only care about a cause because we are somehow directly or indirectly affected by it? No. Of course not. And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. All the power to all the people who raise money and awareness, drive research and make change for the better who were personally impacted by the cause they are championing. I’m just not that guy.

I’ve always had a sense of fairness. I DON’T LIKE BULLIES or CHEATERS I don’t like when people are taken advantage of or manipulated and marketed to in a way that puts themselves and others at risk of their safety.

The point is that we have to discipline ourselves to be laser light FOCUSED, stay on topic and follow thru if we are ever going to accomplish anything at all much less affect positive change.

I’m here to shine a light on Distracted Driving. Which I’ve rebranded as Destructive Driving. Check out Destructivedriving.com to see what I’ve been up to.

Human beings are easily distracted. Some of us have the attention span of a cocker spaniel. (He shifts his head like a cocker spaniel and barks) We are living in distracted times. A time of multi-tasking. Some of you are checking your email and texts or social media while we speak. I don’t know how you’re doing it, but you’re doing it. You may not even realize that that’s what you’re doing. No one is immune! None of us. We’re all distracted. With millions of thoughts running through our brains all the time. All I am asking is that you pay attention to the road and all the other distracted drivers you have to deal with, isn’t that enough?

The answer to this predicament lies within. I’m calling on a group effort to make individual change. Every one of us needs to make a change and do something to improve our own struggle against distraction. Especially when we’re driving.

In the car we all have our idiosyncratic ways of coping with distraction. Do any of you keep your cell phone in the back seat? Or out of plain sight? Are we too undisciplined to peek and put down the phone? Even at red lights? Absoeffinglutely!

I think maybe we are. We can not trust ourselves. Powerful forces are spending marketing dollars to compete for our attention.  Every distraction is an opportunity for somebody to sell us something. To varying degrees we are all dysfunctional.

I have chosen to devote myself and my resources to starting this conversation, because, let’s face it, somebody needs to do this. I am the self-appointed czar BATTLING AGAINST “Distracted Driving” trying to create these difficult conversations and move us all forward to finding solutions.

This issue really needs a billion dollar effort.  I’m hoping that someone with deeper pockets than myself will be moved to step in my shoes and lead the way to safer, less distracted driving.

In the event of my death, hopefully not by a distracted driver.

On Screen: A portion of Jordan’s Will

I have instructed the executor of my estate, to take-out full-page ads in major Newspapers and publications warning the public against the perils of Distracted Driving. I understand this may seem excessive or over the top, but somebody has to start this conversation we’re having with the rest of America. This is a bi-partisan issue. This is something we can all get behind as citizens.  But no discussion of this topic can be complete without addressing the elephant in the room.

On Screen: Photo of Elon Musk

Elon Musk built his electric car company, Tesla, around the promise that it represented the future of driving. However, Musk has been intentionally tone deaf to the epidemic of distracted driving. In fact, he has built his empire disempowering drivers from the ability to pay attention and keep their car on the road. 

On Screen: “Man vs Musk”

Why are we giving up on Man’s ability to be a safer and more effective driver than a robot? Have we thrown in the towel on fighting for mankind to be better than technology? Should we really give up control of our own fate so Elon Musk and others can profit? Why? Because he says we should? Have we really become this lazy?

Tesla has a feature called “Ludicrous Mode.” I know it sounds like a power energy drink. It allows the Tesla to go from 0 to 60 miles per hour without making a sound. It’s innovations like this that are why Forbes magazine has called Elon Musk the richest man on the planet. And I would also add the greatest champion of Distracted Driving the world has ever seen.

How can Elon Musk talk about Mars and space exploration when he doesn’t know or frankly care about what is happening on the ground on Route 22, here on planet earth.

The way to save lives is through changing our behavior. That’s how we stop Distracted driving.

Or what I think should now be called “DESTRUCTIVE DRIVING.” Because it’s much worse than being distracted when the result is lost lives and broken hearts.

The way to stop Destructive Driving is to put down your phone when you’re driving. It’s just that simple. Put down the effing phone. Change your behavior. Shut out all the distractions competing for your attention and disposable income. Just drive! I know it’s easy to conceptualize and harder to do. But it can and should be done because it’s the safe and responsible thing.

Musk has shown no interest in any of this.

He is the billionaire promoter of distracted driving. He’s built his wealth and reputation on the promise of the self-driving car.

On Screen: “The World According to Musk”

Musk lives for the day when a Tesla can drive itself -- which it turns out is much further away than his previous estimations. Over and over, Musk has declared that truly autonomous driving is nearly here!

Here’s a quote:

“My guess as to when we would think it is safe for somebody to essentially fall asleep and wake up at their destination: probably toward the end of next year. I would say I am certain of that. That is not a question mark.”

Musk said that in 2019.

Musk has repeatedly extolled the virtues of auto-pilot - leading drivers to falsely believe that it is safe to keep their eyes off the road. His own experts and advisors have told him he is creating a false understanding of what the engineers at Tesla originally called “Advanced Supported Driving.”

Tesla, at one point, was worth more than Toyota, Honda, Volkswagen, Mercedes, BMW, Ford and General Motors combined. 

Today, delays, lawsuits and unexplained crashes have put a damper on the company’s recent performance and cast doubt on the future of “Advanced supported Driving”

Tesla uses car owners as “test drivers” without full transparency, consent or training. Knowingly putting drivers at risk until software updates are developed.  

However, there remains a fundamental lack of transparency as to what the car's auto-driving capabilities actually are. For example – for some reason Teslas perform better in neighborhoods where there are more Tesla owners and on overcast days. Go figure.

On Screen: “UTILITARIANISM”

Utilitarianism? What the heck is that? I thought it had something to do with paying an electric bill. So I had to look it up.

On Screen: “Definition of Utilitarianism: The doctrine that actions are right if they benefit the majority.”

Musk speaks to the greatest good for the greatest number of people. But the Ethics of his utilitarian philosophy are questionable. Others being sacrificed to get to the ultimate greater good? Utilitarianism or whatever it’s called is not a free-for-all; there is a process of balance which Musk is not obeying.

Teslas mountain of data and safety statistics regarding their so called auto-pilot-features compares “all miles” for regular cars to “highway miles” for Teslas. I mean are you kidding me? What about stop-and-go traffic. Hello?

Musk continues to miss the big picture. Every single step has been a misstep. He’s ignoring advice from his own experts, snubbing his nose at regulators. Why not take a little bit of corporate responsibility Tesla and say “pay attention people?” It’s long overdue and never too late.

From December 2020-2021 Tesla came out with a conscious decision to give drivers the option to play games on a touch screen on the dashboard while the vehicle is in motion.

On Screen: Images of video games on dashboard

Drivers need to be paying attention to one thing only – the road – not playing Solitaire or any other games. The prompt asks you if you’re driving and you can say “NO.” and then you can play SOLITAIRE while you’re driving, possibly on “autopilot” with your hands free. The “autopilot” that wasn’t really meant to be called “autopilot” according to Tesla’s own engineers, advisors and experts, because as we previously determined that’s not what it really does. It’s really just “Advanced supported driving”.

One whistle blower forced Tesla to acknowledge this and 500,000 cars had solitaire removed. Tesla made the change through software update rather than a physical recall.

On Screen: Report Headline - “Tesla has a serious phantom braking problem in Autopilot”)

Ever heard of “Phantom Breaking” in Teslas? Google it!

Tesla has a serious “phantom breaking” problem in autopilot. Phantom breaking is a term used to describe when an advanced driver assistance system applies the brakes for no apparent reason.

This is serious. Real people’s lives are in danger.

An alarming number of incidents regarding  Advance Diver Assistance system and Phantom Breaking are building an evidence file that demonstrates dangerous business practices.

I am not affiliated with any nonprofit or government regulatory agency. I’m just an ordinary citizen, like all of you, who shares the vision of safer roads, and I believe that automakers like Elon Musk bear direct responsibility for creating dangerous situations for drivers.

The controversial “Autopilot” features are anything but foolproof or fully autonomous.  Quite the opposite of the real meaning of autopilot. Vehicles can not be trusted to navigate and brake safely without human control and oversight. Loyal Customers are compelled to take part in experiments and engage with their flawed product. They don’t deserve to be a trillion dollar industry’s guinea pigs.

These problems seem to all stem from Musk’s reckless rhetoric and attempt to over-sell the capabilities of the Tesla. Other automakers are following along with that game plan. His technologies are not as advertised, and human beings have been injured or killed because of these flaws.

On Screen: Slides of Articles about Lawsuits, etc.

Musk’s business decisions are hurting and endangering real people, It’s time for him and others to acknowledge we’re not in 2039 – The year is 2023, and we’ve got a serious problem with destructive driving. It’s time for Elon to step up to be an honorable and responsible citizen. Again – never – ever - too late.

Accident statistics are up. People are driving impaired and distracted more than ever before. We are living during a global pandemic of distracted driving. Tesla’s products catering to distracted drivers in ways that make the problem worse.

I am publicly inviting Elon Musk to discuss his responsibility to prioritize automobile and road safety above all other considerations regarding his technological experiments with Tesla. My appeal to him is simple. Acknowledge and fix this mess! Prove that you can be relied upon with people’s lives.

Start by donating $100 for every one of the vehicles installed with Solitaire and create a fund to educate every driver to the realities of the need to always pay attention behind the wheel. Your investment of $50 million would go a long way to demonstrate some personal responsibility and awareness of this issue.

Elon and all the other CEO’s of car companies, I hope you are willing to reflect on your mistakes and work towards a real commitment to road safety.  Make your vehicles safer to operate by removing distractions from the cockpit and encouraging discipline behind the wheel! Those steps could help to reduce distracted driving, rather than adding to the problem. It’s time for all car manufacturers to focus their efforts on figuring out how to protect humans driving around in their cars.  They deserve to arrive safely at their destinations.

This is what we know. Human error will always exist, but the ability of humans to detect and react to risks on the road are superior to any existent technologies claiming to do it better than the human brain and senses. The reward for good driving should be plain and simple – the chance to hug your loved ones, and the opportunity to drive again another day. Is that so Ludicrous to ask for?

*Note on reading for video monologue’s, while recording don’t speak the ‘Stage Directions’ notated below in Yellow

Please keep your full length monologue submissions for “The Kardashian Komplex” to under 7 minutes recorded in length.

The Kardashian Komplex

written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp 

Hello I’m Jordan Skopp. A Brooklyn realtor, social dogooder and Public Safety Advocate. I’ve decided to dedicate this portion of my life to saving lives from “Destructive Driving” by exposing all brands of distraction.

Not bad, right? I mean it could be worse. I could just be another well off jerk who doesn’t do anything for anybody, right?

Today I’m here to talk to you about the Kardashians. That’s Kim, Khloe, Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney and their mom Kris. A.K.A The Kardashian Industrial Komplex.

(“BRAZEN BRAND” cereal box featuring The Kardashians pours out into a bowl.  The Producers and Kardashians fall out like raisins.)

I am here to tell you that we are being spoon fed some grade A BRAZEN BRAND in HD.

I’m just a regular basic cable watcher like many of you. I’m willing to admit from time to time I’ve watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Once when I was watching for a few minutes I was shocked to discover something that gave me pause. No, I’m not referring to Khloe’s hand-bag line. I noticed one of the Kardashians talking on the phone while driving. I thought that it seemed dangerous and irresponsible.

(Show quick clip of Kim driving while on cell phone being told by her publicist that nude photos of her have been made public.)

On a hunch, I asked an editor to watch Season One of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and document when a Kardashian was clearly distracted and driving irresponsibly. Ironically, in 2007, this behavior was not illegal in California. But even after the laws changed the Producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in a total disregard for public safety, seem to have not gotten the memo.

Watching a few episodes led to the discovery of several more instances and eventually we documented 49 acts of “Distracted Driving” over the course of 15 seasons.

(Show super quick cut excerpts of all 49 acts of distracted driving)

Talking with the cell phone in one hand while driving with the other, in the first 15 seasons alone

(Show clip of Kris on phone while driving, asking about taking a DNA test to prove the paternity of one of her daughters.) 

Is 49 all there is? No, there are probably more, but I can’t take anymore of this. You can sit through the next five seasons, create your own database and tell me what I missed.

(More Kim, Kiley, Khloe, Kendall, Kourtney and Kris on the phone while driving. Laughing and horsing around in the front seat.)

How disgusting has this been? We all have whiplash from watching this train wreck. This kind of Distracted Driving has been illegal in California since 2008. And yet since then we’ve continued to watched season after season of Kardashians breaking the law, modeling dangerous, unsafe behavior and needlessly encouraging millions of viewers who emulate the Kardashians to drive destructively. You would think the Kardashians, with their billions of dollars, would care even just a little about the health and well-being of their fan base. Well……guess again.

I’m not just picking on the Kardshians. It’s not just them. They’re just pawns in the game.  Selfish, greedy and careless pawns – but pawns nonetheless.  Kim, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie, Khloe and Mom Kris.  It’s time to right the wrongs. Maybe save some individual from untold suffering and mental anguish. Maybe someone’s mother or child? Maybe you could save thousands of lives? Is it too much to hope for some personal responsibility? How about some human decency? 

How about it ABC? or E? Or whomever owns the show this week? How about it Producers Bunim and Murray? And Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest? They were the ones who have the final say about cameras in the car. They have chosen to ignore all my letters and pleas to do what’s right and encourage young drivers to drive safely.

(Show Kardashians driving distractedly)

The Kardashians and the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians have refused to acknowledge or engage in a responsible conversation about Destructive Driving and continue to demonstrate deadly behavior for their legions of viewers and fans.

Who am I? I’m just a concerned citizen. I have no origin story.

No relative who was the fatal victim of Distracted Driving.

I’m just an average person who doesn’t want to see people taken advantage of by profit mongers like the Kardashians and the producers of their show. I have spoken with parents who have lost children to distracted driving and learned there is no national movement to combat this scourge.

I’m now engaged in an effort to begin such a national group and I come to you to seek your assistance on a plan of action that begins to confront this and all brands of distraction.

What can the Kardashians, the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and the networks that made many of millions off of the show and its glamorizing depictions of illegal distracted driving do to help save lives and stop acting irresponsibly for profit?

1)  Initiate an educational program to show the dangers of texting and phone use while driving; C’mon Kim, Kourtney, and you so-called Special K’s. Is this really too much to give back just a teeny weenie little bit?

2)  Add a warning label to all Keeping Up With The Kardashians shows in syndication or online that show illegal phone usage while driving.

3)  Develop and fund ad campaigns and PSAs about distracted driving featuring the Kardashians.

The time is now to make a lasting commitment to educate people about the dangers of ALL PHONE USAGE while driving. Every day people are injured and die as a result of distracted driving. Every day there are new broken hearts and souls because of behavior similar to what is highlighted on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

It’s time to end distracted driving.

The Kardashian family and the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians should use their status as influencers to encourage their loyal audience to adopt safe driving practices.

Join me in reaching out to the public, to regulators, and to consumer protection agencies to discuss the problem of Destructive Driving, and its representations in popular media.

Whether we like it or not the Kardashians are influencers. They influence our Behavior. They are the new American role models. Distracted Driving is really “DESTRUCTIVE DRIVING.” Because lost lives and broken hearts are the real consequences of distraction.